Eating like a poor person in the city when you're really just a poor person in your own apartment

Making food can be hard. Sometimes you end up with onion shells in your freezer and garlic hands. When the burden of having opposable thumbs with which to construct a snack gets too hard, McDonald's is waiting with open arches. But when it's zero degrees and the fridge must provide, you can still eat within 30 seconds of thinking about it, and get all the zing of street vendor class. Just follow this recipe:

Ingredients:
-hot dog
-bread or bun
-ketchup
-hot sauce
-GREEN hot sauce
-banana peppers

Microwave that hot dog and shove the rest in some bread. If you don't already have green hot sauce and banana peppers, you are denying yourself the good things in life.